22 December 2018 — Mbugani Migration Camp, Lake Ndutu, Tanzania
Written 22 January 2019, Calgary, Alberta, Canada

We were just leaving the Mbugani Migration Camp. Heather and I had our bags slung over our shoulders as we rounded the corner of the dining tent toward the truck. Up ahead, Salim and three of the camp staff were already gathered, laughing about something. As soon as he spotted us, Salim grinned and said, “Oh good—the father needs to be here for this.”

Apparently, one of the young staff members had confided to Salim that he found Heather quite attractive. Salim had shared with the group the earlier assessment by the Datoga that Mark’s payment for Kirsten should be set at 400 cows.

Heather, of course, leapt straight into the negotiations. Without missing a beat, she raised the price to 500 cows—on the logic that she could hand over 400 to Mark and still come out ahead.

The young man paused, considering this, and then his face lit up.
“How about 500 wildebeest?” he countered.

Given that this was the migration camp—and given that we were effectively surrounded by wildebeest in every direction, with more arriving by the hour—it was a shrewd opening bid. But then he went all-in:

“No, wait… all the wildebeest in the Serengeti!”

There are well over a million wildebeest in the Serengeti. And, let’s be honest, Heather isn’t getting any younger. By next year, the offer might drop to only half the wildebeest in the Serengeti. It’s the kind of decision a father needs to weigh carefully.

This whole “old-world dowry” system certainly opens up intriguing possibilities for the modern, capitalistic parent. Up until now, the kids have been a highly lovable money pit…